coaching

Surprise Waning Crescent: Confronting courageous coronavirus questions

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Look up to the sky.

It’s a slowly waning crescent before Chapter 52 arrives on the exact minute of the new moon next week.

So why this special episode of 3 Books? 

Well, like the “cultivating calm during coronavirus chaos” episode we released a month ago, it’s because we are swimming in wholly unprecedented seas. I am feeling stress around coronavirus and I can tell by your DMs, tweets, comments, and voicemails to 1-833-READ-A-LOT that you're feeling it, too.

Now, as many of you know, I give speeches. I travel around the world giving motivational speeches to organizations, companies, and schools around the world. I am very lucky I get to do this, but guess what?

They’re all cancelled.

Every single speech I was slated to give this spring is now officially cancelled. TED is cancelled. SXSW is cancelled. Any organization running any event with hundreds of people is cancelled.

So I am grounded like many of us are.

But then the phone suddenly started ringing again.

It seems with so many organizations working remotely while managing tectonic changes there’s a new opportunity to talk virtually about cultivating a positive mindset.

So I have started being asked to give virtual speeches.

I was recently supposed to be in Arizona speaking to a group of great leaders at Kao. I gave a speech to them in Cincinnati a couple months ago before coronavirus and was looking forward to seeing them again.

But ...  cancelled.

So instead I gave a speech to them virtually, over a WebEx call, with a few hundred people all dialing in. I spoke for half an hour about resilience. If you’ve read You Are Awesome you can guess what I talked about! The two-minute morning ritual to ground and center us for the day. How developing a weird hobby helps avoid cognitive entrenchment and mental fragility during this uncertain time. And why it’s critical to go untouchable from the news and social media for a dedicated amount of time each day.

After I spoke we opened up the call to a Q&A.

And remember this is a call with hundreds and hundreds of people who can’t see me or each other. There’s a chatroom on the side where I can receive personal messages but we did it together. And I am so amazed at what happened. The leaders at Kao were incredibly vulnerable, brave, and courageous with each other. Their leader Trevor created incredible space for them to share emotions, feelings, and worries in a generous and open-hearted way. I did my best to reflect and add to the thoughts but most importantly they supported each other. I was awed by what you’re about to hear from these folks.

After the call was over the leadership team and I spoke about using this chat as an opportunity to help other people. We are in this together right now around the whole world. We are one giant team. So that’s why we received expressed written permission from every single voice you’re about to hear to share this with you.

The Q&A you are about to hear is being shared with one goal: we think there might be a nugget, tool, framework, or an idea that you can use.

It’s not meant a panacea or a cure-all. This Q&A won’t solve all your problems. But it’s an offering. It’s a little plate with tiny treats on it.

I hope there’s one thing here you can apply to something you are wondering or worrying about.

We discuss things like: 

  • What do we say to children who are struggling?

  • How do we manage overwhelm and disorientation?

  • How do we get through this if we are alone?

  • How do we manage guilt we are feeling?

  • And much, much more... 

 I want to say a giant thank you to the  team at Kao for letting us share this conversation with a special thanks to every voice you are about to hear.

You are true leaders in every sense of the word. 

And now …

Let's go! 

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Chapter 51: Dr. Qing Li on finding faith and freedom in forests

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Where are you in the world right now?

Shacked up in Shanghai? Isolating in Iceland? Quarantine in Qatar?

Well, I don’t know where you are but I am guessing that one of the biggest questions you’ve been asking yourself lately is about self-care.

How do you take care of yourself if you are socially distancing or taking care of the others for weeks or months on end? What tools can you use? As the world is shifting, how do we all make sure you are taking care of our personal well-being? My mental health is being challenged right now and I am guessing yours may be, too.

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Well, today I bring you the very first virtual chapter of 3 Books, featuring Dr. Qing (pronounced “Ching”) Li all the way from Tokyo, Japan. Dr. Li is the world’s foremost authority in forest medicine. A medical doctor at Tokyo’s Nippon Medical School, he has been a visiting fellow at the Stanford University School of Medicine, and is the founding chairman of the Japanese Society for Forest Medicine. He’s also the author of several books including the international bestseller Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness.

I am so grateful that the kind and generous Dr. Qing Li accepted my invitation to come on 3 Books.

I hope you find the conversation as informative and inspiring as I did.

Let’s go! 

What You'll Learn:

  • How do you take care of yourself during these uncertain times?

  • What is forest therapy? What are the immune-boosting properties of being in nature?

  • What are great books to build your leadership and capacity for hard work?

  • How can you benefit from forest bathing in a city or while stuck inside?

notable quotes from dr. qing li:

“Being in nature slows our senses… it opens the gap between us and the natural world.” – Dr. Qing Li #3bookspodcast

“People can enjoy forest bathing to boost their immune functions.” – Dr. Qing Li #3bookspodcast

“If you want to succeed, you have to work hard.” – Dr. Qing Li #3bookspodcast

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Resources Mentioned:

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Chapter 50: Marcus Buckingham on soul ciphers and strength of self

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Hey everybody,

Welcome to Chapter 50 of 3 Books!

Yes, in the midst of coronavirus chaos we’re going to hang out on a hotel room couch in Vancouver for a little bit of calm. (PS. If you haven’t listened to the Surprise Waning Crescent episode of 3 Books all about coronavirus please check that out first.)

I am very excited to have you on the couch beside me and the absolutely incredible Marcus Buckingham.

Who is Marcus?

Well, if you’re in the business world, you’ve probably heard of him. Why? Well, he’s written books sitting on every executive’s bookshelf and his assessments and work is used everywhere. Marcus Buckingham is a global researcher and thought leader focused on unlocking people's strengths, increasing their performance, and pioneering the future of how people work. I have a feeling his work is going to be much needed after coronavirus! How did Marcus end up doing this job? Well, after working as Senior Researcher inside Gallup for a couple of decades he co-authored some of the most popular business books of all time including First Break All The Rules, Now Discover Your Strengths, and his latest bestseller, Nine Lies About Work.

What does Marcus do now? He guides the vision of ADP Research Institute as Head of People and Performance and in 2006 he founded the Marcus Buckingham Company, with the clear mission to instigate a “strengths revolution.”

I love the optimism behind his work. That people are born as acorns, with an imprint inside them on what they could be, and what their true potential could lead them to.

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I sat down with Marcus overlooking the foggy mountains over Vancouver Harbour just before he took to the stage for the headlining slot at The Art of Leadership.

We cover a lot of topics in this chapter including:

How do we learn to truly see our children? 

How can the education system be improved?

How do we avoid tribalism? 

What is the real definition of weird?

What’s the single best question to ask yourself when trying to articulate your strengths? 

And how can we find our own unique way to draw strength and love from life?

I found Marcus to be brave, vulnerable, and inspiring in this conversation. Years ago, when I worked at Walmart, we used Marcus’s books and videos in our training sessions. Getting a chance to sit down with him many years later to discuss his 3 most formative books was a rare treat. 

 Let’s go…

Listen to Chapter 50 of 3 Books:

Click here to Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, StitcherOvercast, Spotify, or Google Play.

What You'll Learn:

  • How do we learn to truly see our children? 

  • How can the education system be improved?

  • How do we avoid tribalism? 

  • What is the real definition of weird?

  • What’s the single best question to ask yourself when trying to articulate your strengths? 

  • How can we find our own unique way to draw strength and love from life?

notable quotes from marcus buckingham:

“Your kids are chips you have on the poker table of your life, when you push on them what you’re doing is you’re not seeing your child. You’re moving your piece around the board and that means the kid has no agency.” – Marcus Buckingham #3bookspodcast

“If I don’t own me-ness then I get drawn into tribalism.” – Marcus Buckingham #3bookspodcast

“When was the last time a day flew by?” – Marcus Buckingham #3bookspodcast

CONNECT With Marcus:

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Resources Mentioned:

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Surprise Waning Crescent: Leslie and Neil on cultivating calm during coronavirus chaos

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It's not a full moon. It's not a new moon. 

The moon is currently a crescent and slowly waning before Chapter 50 arrives with the new moon next week.

So why this episode of 3 Books? 

Because we are swimming in unprecedented seas. I am feeling stress and anxiety around coronavirus. And I can tell by your DMs, tweets, comments, and voicemails to 1-833-READ-A-LOT that you're feeling it, too.

Of course we are!!

I am worried about what happens when we all wake up feeling scared and mortal and alone at the same time. I am worried an invisible enemy that may already be inside us or people we love. I am worried for my sister and friends on the front lines. I am worried about the health of my parents and grandparents-in-law. I am worried about feeling isolated and distanced... and so many more things. 

Today I welcome back my wife Leslie and we sit down on our basement couch, after putting the kids to bed, to have an open-hearted talk about cultivating calm during coronavirus chaos. 

We discuss things like: 

  • How do we create systems to control our media consumption?

  • How do we stay connected in this disconnected time? 

  • What do we say to children and preteens?

  • How can we take care of ourselves as we go through this trauma?

  • What are some ways we can practice self-care?  

  • And much, much more... 

If you need an empathetic voice, a compassionate voice, a loving voice, a tender voice, or a guiding voice, I can’t wait for you to meet or remeet my lovely wife, Leslie. (Chapter to Chapter Club members will of course know Leslie from Chapter 1 of 3 Books.)

During our chat we set up a chair for you in the basement beside us. (We honestly did.) It has a thick wooly blanket and a cup of lavender chamomile tea. 

I hope you'll join us. 

Let's go! 

Listen to this Surprise Chapter of 3 Books:

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Chapter 49: Dr. Andrea Sereda’s oddly original offerings on opioid overdosing

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Welcome to Chapter 49!

Today we sit down with Dr. Andrea Sereda at the Sherbourne Health Centre on the east side of downtown Toronto, an area of the city sometimes known for its challenges with drug abuse.

Who is Dr. Andrea Sereda?

Dr. Andrea Sereda is a family physician who practices street outreach medicine. She provides care through the London InterCommunity Health Centre in London, Ontario and works with the emergency safer supply substitution program to prescribe hydromorphone, an opioid used by injection drug users to reduce the risk of contaminated street drugs.

Wait! What?

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Yes, on the face of it, Dr. Andrea Sereda gives drugs to drug users but there is a lot more to the story. We are going right to the front lines of the opioid epidemic which, even before the end of this conversation, will take 10 lives in North America alone. (To illustrate the issue more deeply, 8,048 Americans died of opioid related drug overdoses in 1999. What about now? Well, the number was 47,600 in 2017, which is the most recently available data.)

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It will take ingenuity, creativity, and passion to address this issue. As you’ll hear, Dr. Andrea Sereda offers all three in spades. Her views are often provocative, sometimes controversial, and she will argue that drugs should be decriminalized and why we should indeed give drugs to drug users. What about the challenges to these ideas? The critics? The controversies? We get into that, too. And we are fortunate enough to use Andrea’s three most formative books as a launchpad into this conversation.

I am so grateful to Dr. Andrea Sereda for sharing so much of her life, her journey, and her practice with all of us.

I find her and her work incredibly challenging, intriguing, and inspiring.

I hope you do, too.

Let’s go!

Listen to Chapter 49 of 3 Books:

Click here to Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, StitcherOvercast, Spotify, or Google Play.

What You'll Learn:

  • Why should drugs be given to drug users?

  • Should drugs be decriminalized? Why or why not?

  • What is actually more harmful -- the drugs themselves or the quality of drugs?

  • How can we reduce stigma on people in our communities living with mental illness, drug addiction and homelessness?

  • Can drugs be considered a ‘basic need’?

notable quotes from Dr. andrea sereda:

“I failed at being an astronaut so therefore I am a doctor.” Dr. Andrea Sereda #3bookspodcast

“There’s this feedback loop where their mental illness gets blamed on their drug use except it’s their mental illness that’s driving their drug use.” Dr. Andrea Sereda #3bookspodcast

“Are the drugs making my patients sick or is it the fact that they are criminalized and prohibited and they have to use an unclean, unregulated, unreliable street supply, making my patients sick?” Dr. Andrea Sereda #3bookspodcast

CONNECT With Andrea:

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Resources Mentioned:

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Chapter 48: Michael Bungay Stanier on massive moons and the magic of metaphor

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Welcome to chapter 48!

I am so excited to sit down with the one and only Michael Bungay Stanier on a pair of folding lawn chairs on his front porch in the Roncesvalles neighborhood of Toronto.

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Michael’s mind is like a box that you open and a whole bunch of springs suddenly fly out in all directions.

Here’s his Amazon biography to give you a taste of this guy: “Michael was banned from his high school graduation for the ‘balloon incident’, he was sued by one of his law school lecturers for defamation, he gave himself a concussion digging a hole one day as a laborer, he was fired on his first shift as a garage attendant and he’s held a number of jobs where he had little to no impact.”

Should we stop there?

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No, I’ll keep going. Michael is an Australian who goes to Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar. He meets a beautiful Canadian woman who he falls in love with and follows back to Canada. He founds company called Box of Crayons which teaches 10-minute coaching strategies so busy managers can build stronger teams. He wins numerous awards for Coach of the Year and writes a book called The Coaching Habit which turns into a huge phenomenon with (in only 3+ years) sold over 700,000 copies and scored over 2000 Amazon reviews. (Sidenote: The book was published by Jesse Finklestein of Page Two Publishing, our guest in Chapter 23)

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Never one to rest on his laurels, as this chapter drops Michael is just about to release the follow up to The Coaching Habit which is called The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever.

I love Michael Bungay Stanier. He’s one of the most fascinating minds in my life, and I feel so grateful and honored to call him a friend. I hope you fall in love with him too.

In this chapter, we talk about making complex things simple, finding And of course, his three most formative books.

Let's go!

Listen to Chapter 48 of 3 Books:

Click here to Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, StitcherOvercast, Spotify, or Google Play.

What You'll Learn:

  • What surprising thing actually gave us civilisation on the planet?  

  • In a world of endless everything, how do we develop the critical skills to be filterers and translators?

  • From that, how do we go about making complex things simple? (Michael is a virtuoso at this.)

  • How do we actually think about maximizing our tiny, short lives?

  • When should you zig when others zag?

  • When should you think about provoking curiosity rather than create certainty?

  • And, of course, what are the incredible Michael Bungay Stanier’s 3 most formative books?

notable quotes from michael bungay stanier:

“Who doesn’t need a bit more sparkliness in their lives?” Michael Bungay Stanier #3bookspodcast

“Almost everything is going to be better the forth time you write it.” Michael Bungay Stanier #3bookspodcast

 “We are a ridiculously unlikely outcome / this is a special life you have and you only get one shot at it.” Michael Bungay Stanier #3bookspodcast

CONNECT With Michael:

word of the chapter: 

Resources Mentioned:

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