Mean

Chapter 64: Rhiannon the Restaurateur on redefining reality

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So I’m walking down the street in downtown Toronto when I glance into a restaurant on my right and see a little chalkboard sign in the window which reads, “Your rights end where another person’s begin. Wear a mask.”

I found the sign to be a tiny display of civic activism. Asking people to wear masks! Demanding it, even. So tough in the service industry. I stop to snap a quick photo and the owner, Rhiannon, seeing me do this, steps outside.

We talk about how tough things are in the industry right now and discuss the challenges of enforcing masks and distance while trying to run a business.   

I decide to order a breakfast burrito, which gives me time to engage Rhiannon in a longer exchange. Turns out she was an English teacher and loves reading so I turn on my recorder and record a short guerrilla chapter of 3 Books right on her patio. (Our second after Chapter 44 with Kevin the Bookseller! And our second bar patio chapter after Chapter 27 with Robin the Bartender.)

Listen into this honest conversation about school politics, engaging reluctant readers, tackling stereotyping, hangover poutine, and of course, Rhiannon the Restaurateur’s 3 most formative books.

As this pandemic endures, we need to support our local corner shops, variety shops, and neighborhood restaurants. The future is going to need small businesses!

Let’s give some love to the beautiful Rhiannon of Grapefruit Moon.

Let’s go! 

What You'll Learn:

  • Why is revisiting books valuable?

  • How can a book inspire action?

  • How do you run a business with your mom?

  • What’s it like growing up on an island?

  • Why should we burn The Ugly Ducking?  

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Chapter 63: Brandon Stanton is harnessing histories of humble human heroes

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“If you are willing to get closer to people who are suffering, you will find the power to change the world.”

That quote by Bryan Stevenson perfectly describes the incredible work of Brandon Stanton of Humans of New York, my guest on Chapter 63 of 3 Books.

Happy Harvest Moon everyone! 

Are you surviving the onslaught of 2020?

If you’re anything like me you’re looking for grounding which is why I’m thrilled to be bringing you this uplifting exchange which completely filled my heart and soul.

Brandon Stanton is an American author, photographer, blogger, activist, and philanthropist. He is the creator of the viral sensation Humans of New York, which boasts a community of over 30 million people around the world who get a regular glimpse into the private lives of strangers through Brandon’s arresting photos and accompanying stories that reflect back to us the deeper nature of humanity.

Brandon is also the author of the New York Times bestsellers Humans of New York, Humans of New York: Stories, Little Humans of New York, and the highly anticipated new book Humans which comes out next week. (Side note: I believe he also holds the Guinness World Record for “Most Books With The Word Humans In The Title”).

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Brandon was listed as one of TIME’s 30 People Under 30 Changing The World, and received the James Joyce award for the Literary and Historical Society for Professional Achievement. Not bad for a roaming flâneur who got fired from his bond trading job and just started walking around taking pictures all day.

In this chapter we discuss:

  • What did Brandon learn while photographing Barack Obama?

  • What’s the difference between schooling and education?

  • What system did Brandon adopt to improve his reading?

  • How do we balance artistic ambition with family contentment?

  • How can cannabis help with creativity?

  • Why is it important that kids fear drugs?

  • How can we rebuild trust?

  • And of course, what are Brandon Stanton’s 3 most formative books? 

In this tumultuous year of ups and downs, pandemic havoc, incessant media and political mayhem, let this conversation be an oasis of energy to fill you back up.

Let’s go! 

What You'll Learn:

  • Why is it so important to never judge a person from one moment?

  • Who was the original inventor of the self help movement?

  • How do we separate reading from compulsion and curiosity?

  • How can you design systems to realize more of your potential? ?

  • How do we tap into our deeper artistic selves to tell better stories?

  • What is freedom and how does success limit it?

  • What is the difference between being an influencer and being an artist?

  • Where does power in a modern democracy really reside?

  • What does it take to be a historical biographer?

  • Why is getting close to people who are suffering so critical to bettering the world?

  • What does it mean to be a moral person?

Notable quotes from BRANDON STANTON:

“You can never judge a person in a moment.” - Brandon Stanton @humansofny #3bookspodcast

“It doesn’t matter how smart you are, if you don’t have knowledge, if you don’t take the time to learn from other people and learn what’s been learned before you are just never going to do anything near what you were capable of doing.” - Brandon Stanton @humansofny #3bookspodcast

“Educating yourself based on your own curriculum is going to lead to a lot more retention and a lot more growth then educating yourself in a more systemic format.” - Brandon Stanton @humansofny #3bookspodcast

“I want to get as good as possible at telling the stories of strangers that I possibly can.” - Brandon Stanton @humansofny #3bookspodcast

“So much of my growth is due to discipline and not the passion.” - Brandon Stanton @humansofny #3bookspodcast

“What marijuana does is it kind of activates that part of your brain which is more imaginative and more playful and more adventurous and your mind wanders a lot more.” - Brandon Stanton @humansofny #3bookspodcast

“Being in the proximity of the deep personal lives of other people definitely gives you more weight within which to lean into being a good person.” - Brandon Stanton @humansofny #3bookspodcast

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Chapter 62: Myriam Gurba is a bold badass with a bronca against baseless bigotry and brutality

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“Xicana AF. Bitch is my pronoun.” So reads the Twitter bio of Myriam Gurba, my guest, our guest, in Chapter 62. 

A Mexican/American writer, storyteller, and visual artist from California, Myriam is the author of the true crime memoir Mean, which was hailed by O magazine as “one of the best LGBTQ+ books of all time.” She is also the author of Painting Their Portraits in Winter, Dahlia Season, as well as a number of chapbooks, all of which pack an audacious punch. And if her infectious written word is not enough, she’s toured with Sister Spit, a lesbian feminist spoken word and performance art collective. 

She traffics in Spanglish and bold truth, the kind of which is raw and fierce. 

“When I tell gringos that my Mexican grandfather worked as a publicist, the news silences them. Shocked facial expressions follow suit. Their heads look ready to explode and I can tell they’re thinking, ‘In Mexico, there are PUBLICISTS?!’ I wryly grin at these fulanos and let my smile speak on my behalf. It answers, ‘Yes, bitch, in México, there are things to publicize such as our own fucking opinions about YOU.’ - Myriam Gurba

Those words are from her viral article, Pendeja, You Ain’t Steinbeck: My Bronca with Fake-Ass Social Justice Literature, in which she takes down Jeanine Cummins’ novel American Dirt. She had been asked to review the book by Ms. Magazine, but they rejected said review on the basis that she, “lacked the fame to pen something so negative.” The controversy came to light, as well as her original critique, and the publishing world erupted. Cultural appropriation, the white gaze, racism, and the lack of diversity in the publishing industry were brought to the fore. 

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Unafraid and unapologetic, Myriam had no choice but to ride the wave of deliberation. Aspersion was only heightened, shortly thereafter, by her very publicized suspension from her teaching job in a local high school by an armed police escort. Her social media presence was deemed inappropriate. And yet, she was, in her words, simply defending students who were accusing teachers of abuse.

She is passionate and energetic, a big thinking firecracker who challenged my views and grew my thinking on so many levels for which I am so grateful. We had a jet-fueled conversation talking about racism, prejudice, growing up queer, police brutality, violence against women, the Mexican obsession with death, and, of course, Myriam Gurba’s 3 most formative books.

Are you ready for a gritty, vulnerable, and honest conversation with the one and only Myriam Gurba?

Let’s go!

(Trigger Warning: This conversation does veer into topics of sexual abuse and trauma.)

What You'll Learn:

  • Why is there so much white supremacy in publishing?

  • How can we use vulnerability to draw strength?

  • What is it like growing up queer?

  • How can we become better activists?

  • Why should the police and prison system be abolished?

  • What constitutes violence against women?

  • What systems fuel misogyny and patriarchy?

  • How can we have a better body image?

  • How do we deal with genital shame?

  • What are the roots of racism?

  • Why is it so important to engage in corporeal politics?

Notable quotes from myriam gurba:

“We are discussed as if we are the problem because we are framed as the problem, but we are never asked or invited to the table to help resolve the problem of white supremacy. “ - @lesbrains #3bookspodcast

“White folks aren’t accustomed to having to work to understand critique.” - @lesbrains #3bookspodcast

“There’s an expectation that women ought to suffer and ought to suffer, quote unquote gracefully, and then if you are a woman of color, the expectation is even greater.” - @lesbrains #3bookspodcast

“If activism matters and liberation matters to you, then you are willing to assume the risk.” - @lesbrains #3bookspodcast

“The police exist to perform spectacles of violence.” - @lesbrains #3bookspodcast

“We’re all pink on the inside is just as gross as telling a dark-skinned person we all bleed red. That might be true that we all bleed red, but some of us are forced to bleed more than others.” - @lesbrains #3bookspodcast

“For folks who are interested in the struggle for liberation, it’s important to start with your community and with the people who are already organizing in your community.” - @lesbrains 3bookspodcast

“We all have power. A lot of us forget that every single human being, if we are alive, we have some sort of power.” - @lesbrains #3bookspodcast

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