Chapter 91: Nora McInerny on nixing numbers and nurturing naked needs

LISTEN NOW ON APPLE, GOOGLE or SPOTIFY

Welcome to Chapter 91 of 3 Books!

How are you holding up in 2021? It has been a wild 20 months.

You’ve been telling me you are thankful for the show and I have been telling you I’m thankful for you. I appreciate your notes, your phone calls, your letters, and your reviews and we travel and meet across space and time — meeting up whenever the moon above is is completely full or completely empty.

Today I am so thrilled to share with you the enigmatic, witty, multi-hyphenate Nora McInerny.

In 2014 Nora went through a deeply traumatic six weeks. She had a miscarriage, lost her father, and lost her husband Aaron with whom she had a young son. She spent the next year of her life couch surfing, staying with friends, trying to process the loss, the grief and the trauma. And what has emerged is somebody who I feel is at the world’s leading edge of discussing things like grief, trauma, loss, widowhood, and how we navigate forward with those all bottled up inside us.

Nora is the successful author of It’s OK to Laugh, Crying is Cool Too, No Happy Endings, The Hot Young Widow’s Club, and the movie novelization of Bad Moms. (Shoutout to Chapter 82 with Quentin Tarantino!).

Nora gave a wonderful TED Talk called “We don’t move on from grief; we move forward with it” which, at the time of me writing this, has 5,798,513 views.

But all that stuff — the books! the talks! — are probably not as well known as her spectacular, award-winning podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking (TTFA).

If you don’t already, check it out — subscribe, listen, and love. I was lucky enough to be a guest a year and a half ago and Nora gave me permission to share the audio in a 3 Books Bookmark this past March.

Nora McInerny is coming to us from her closet in Arizona, where she is now resettled into a new relationship, co-parenting her child with her new husband’s children.

Get cozy in between us and let’s the three of us hang out and talk about: intentional parenting, grief processing, shininess vs work, sliding scales of empathy, dating after divorce, navigating our deepest needs, and, of course, the one and only Nora McInerny’s 3 most formative books.

Let’s flip the page into Chapter 91 now…

What You'll Learn:

  • What is emotional coziness?

  • How do we navigate self-consciousness?

  • What makes children’s books so unique?

  • How can we better understand our values?

  • How can we process our grief?

  • What is the difference between processing versus coping with grief?

  • What is the difference between grief and depression?

  • How soon should you start dating after becoming a widower?

  • Why is the grief of divorce or breakups underestimated?

  • Why is it so important to convey the humanity of experiences vs the absurdity?

  • How do you turn the mundane into the interesting?

  • How can we curb digital self harm?

  • What is the value of effort?

  • What is digital enlightenment?

  • Why is categorization counterproductive?

Notable quotes from nora mcinerny:

“Reading does not have to be an act of snobbery.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“The best novels allow you to become the main character.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“The best kids books..involve children sort of making their own way through the adult world unseen and outwitting all the grownups.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“I do not value the shininess of things as much as I value the work of things.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“I like to start things that I feel like anyone could be there, that anyone could join.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“What I’ve learned from widowhood is this sliding scale of empathy. I’ve learned that grief is somehow universal and wholly personal and that the only people who want to judge it have not been there.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“I do not think that people give enough recognition to that specific grief of divorce or the end of a relationship.”  Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“I don’t have to have a super fascinating life; life is fascinating.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“We all have this need. From the moment we’re born, all we want is to be seen and known.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“Nobody posts on social media as an act of service. … We post because it will have a part of us be seen.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“There is a difference between doing well and being well.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“The constant struggle is how do you separate the success of a thing you have created from your own value as a person.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“All we are is a series of unmet needs being passed down from generation to generation.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“People don’t like brands; people like people.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“It’s OK if you do not have an elevator pitch… It’s like getting in the willy wonka elevator. Who knows where we are going. Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“Lanes are for cars and horses and we are neither of those things.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

“Whatever success is, it’s a slow frickin burn.” Nora McInerny #3bookspodcast

Connect with nora:

word of the chapter:

Resources Mentioned:

Enjoy the show? Use the Links Below to Subscribe:

 
 
 
 
 
 

GIVE US A Call AT 1-833-READ-A-LOT

(YES, THIS IS A REAL PHONE NUMBER)